she's got doorknobs where her eyes used to be.

oh yea. guess what. abi's coming up next weekend. and kristin just bought her ticket for november. and my world is filling up with old friends again. just like i've been wanting it to. !!

i don't love you i don't hate you.

every time you leave this house everything falls apart.

today's plan: drop off film, go get a coffee and sandwich at ocean beach, pick up film, meet up with eric, walk around open studios in the mission, have a lovely, sunny day.

i'm always lazy when i miss you.

a tough year.

i'll hold the world in place.

christmas?

i'm painting you a portrait of young.

this song makes me think of so many particular people. so super specifically, too...

being at bonnaroo and when this song started we watched all the stars fall out of the sky and land on the finger tips of everyone waving their arms in the air. and those fabulous four that i was with. and that friend that always inspires me to "go big or go home." especially when it comes to jayz. and those two twins that love h.o.v.a. more than anything. ever. always. and that blue caddie that had the huge dent in the side. and "just a picture perfect day that lasts a whole lifetime. and it never ends cause all we have to do is hit rewind... drink some wine. reminisce, talk some shit. forever young is in my mind." are you kidding me. obvious... it reminds me of being young and old and new and familiar. and anything. ever. always.

a bed of roses.

man. this girl and her shoes.

she could drag me over the rainbow.

mom, thank you for sending me a box with autumn leaves in it. it makes it feel like fall. it was just what i wanted and needed. luv you.

within a house within a room.

kristin, i found a store with old match books that you would die for. and its right next to a book store that makes journals out of old library books. and they keep the library cards on the back page. !

he was a most peculiar man.

went out for dinner last night at this place. ahhhh, our waitress looked like this monster. exactly. my friend remembered her name was oblina. isn't that awesome?

i walk out in the flowers and feel better.

2:55

it takes a long time to pass you by.

in another place.

we'll pull the stars right of out of the sky.

when i was a ghost.

if you call me i won't be home.

"A few times in my life I’ve had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."

i feel like it might rain on me.

a letter from alex + a letter from cilla. a drawing of a sewing machine that is going right on my inspiration wall. some dried up flowers that i am putting in my jar of dried up flowers. savage love from the dig that i'm going to read while i eat dinner. and happiness that i am storing in my heart for a rainy day. love. thanks. always. always.

so be wise.

rate this five stars if you like it. it's painted by the coolest little kid ever. he is one of my friend's students. he is 11 years old. he works for his parents and saves all is own money to go to antique stores and bargain for stuff to add to a giant collection he has. one of the pieces is this antique pocket watch. he started this painting before he knew about the contest - he always draws his antiques and adds an owl somewhere into it. pretty rad, right?

we're always touching by underground wires.

you say you’ll come with me but you don’t take my hand.

won't you be by my side.

little drifters.

so it was i lost the light of day.

i'm in the middle of this book. i started it over the summer when i found it lying on the sidewalk somewhere in jp. i forgot about it when i moved and i just picked it up again a few days ago. it's consuming. imagine how sad it would be to loose your shadow.

and the colors in your wardrobe.

just thought about how lucky and cool it is that every one of my friends is teaching me something different. that's all.

out the window.

yay. kristin is painting in italy!

nostalgic pavement.

my friend looked at my journal the other night. he's super critical of everything. i felt pretty vulnerable letting him flip through. after a while he asked if he could write something in it that i could read later. i just found a page in the middle that says "kevin ambrose grey was inspired when he read this."

i've got mixed up memories and i've got favorite places.

picasso's light drawings.

three words that became hard to say.

bluegrass festival in the park today. for free! i wish alex was here to know everything about it.

you look so defeated.

such a silly game we play.

no more bad times.

so many realizations tonight. good friends. and talks. and life. and love.

bake pies all night.

little pieces of rain.

i used to care but now i don't.